The Old Corner Shop
(The Hitchcock Version)
How I recall the old corner shop
where Mr. Repressed could murder a chop
and Mrs. Gossip fondled your greens
then sneered at your disheveled teens.
And let's not omit Mr. Know-It-All,
who told you weekly the market would fall,
and Mrs.Toute Suite--she'd been to France--
or so she reiterated in rants.
Her comrade, Mrs. Stella de Chic,
wore a different perfume for every week.
She made your kiddies point and giggle,
but her skin-tight dress and wanton wiggle,
not to mention her roving eye
that caressed every man with a mind to buy,
caused the poor butcher's gaze to linger
and someone to grin as he chopped off his finger.
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