I'd give this one a B+ for ambition in tackling the form, but only a C- on execution. The form and theme go well together, but it's an extremely difficult form and I feel that the writer has taken too many liberties. The impact is not demerits for cheating on the repetends - I don't care about that, if the poem works - but the repeats are loose enough so that the droning echo that lends another dimension to the terzanelle isn't really there consistently enough, and the impact suffers. Form doesn't enhance theme as strongly as it should.
More specifically, it is only in S2 and S4 where the L5 repetend really repeats properly (and S2 gets the gold star, because it also changes sense.) S3 and S5 simply use the last word of the line. And, as Martin points out, the last stanza, which is supposed to reach all the way back to S1 for two of its three repeats - to lock the cycle shut - ignores them all. Sorry, guys, but this is not much more than a terzanelle in name only - it's not a bad poem, and it applies some of the features of the terzanelle some of the time - but thassall.
Confession - I'm a repetend freak, and I've started many terzanelles - but only successfully completed one. I always feel like Indiana Jones when I try one - a fresh crisis in every stanza (except that I'm not as successful in overcoming them as Harrison Ford is) - and you have to continually think five lines ahead so that the repeat line slides in and not only makes sense, but says something other than
doo-wah doo-wah doot-doo-wah. The form is a bitch - it can be very effective and unusual when it works, but getting it to work can kill you in the process. Which, I suspect (and as Catherine also indicated), is why Bruce only received one terzanelle. (For an example of the form used effectively,
check out this one by the poet who invented the form.)