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Unread 05-30-2011, 09:15 AM
David Rosenthal David Rosenthal is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Berkeley, CA, USA
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It is well-written, as are all the entrants so far. It seems witty enough, but as someone unfamiliar with Madame B (oh poorly read David R!) I had to rely on the poem for characterization, which struck me the way it struck Cathy and Cantor. I am not the ideal reader for this, though, so others might take more from it.

Also, a tiny nit: the comma after "Girls" in the envoi caused me to stress the word which lead to a clunky five-beat line. In fact, it ws a strain for me to correct it and demote "girls." I think the envoi, especially in the first line in a poem that wants to bite and be witty, should be unmistakebaly sharp. Clearly other readers didn't have this trouble, so again it is likely my shortcoming not the poem's or the poet's.

David R.
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