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Unread 05-30-2011, 09:18 AM
Michael Cantor Michael Cantor is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Plum Island, MA; Santa Fe, NM
Posts: 11,202
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I'm having a problem with this one because I can't decide where it's aimed - and possibly the writer can't either, and is trying to have it two ways. I want to love it because it's a silly spoof of silly bird call descriptions - but it's not quite silly enough. And I want to admire it as a frenzied tribute to a birdacious, bird-filled spring - but it's a little too silly.

Basically, I agree with Maryann's read. I think the intent of the poem is to riff off and build on the chaffinch song description in the epigraph - and possibly the problem is that it's almost impossible to surpass that for good old, solid Rule Brittania inventiveness and dottiness, which may explain my confusion.

In a sense, this poem reminds me of an old Billy Collins favorite, Litany, (can I mention his name without being booed) which takes a similar approach of playing it straight on the surface, but ridiculing metaphors along the way - but I think the Collins poem is more successful, in a way, because it leaves no doubt that it's a spoof.

I think that if this one were tweaked, with a greater sense of inanity in the comparisons, and a stronger indication of direction, it could be wondrous, As it is, it's a delight, but kind of falls between the cracks for me.

Last edited by Michael Cantor; 05-30-2011 at 11:59 AM.
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