This is my offering; couldn't do it without any contractions but I kept them to a minimum.
How’s your body? Huge? Don’t know when your feet were last seen? Come here then!
SELF HELP BOOT CAMP will deal with your crap life.
Don’t just wish. Don’t just diet with lame hope.
Stun your wife with slim hips, trim arms/legs, nice firm buns!
Tone your pecs. Lose that lard.
SELF HELP BOOT CAMP will work. FACT.
Less food.
Away with junk.
Quit fags, beer, wine.
Long runs will lose that flab.
SELF HELP BOOT CAMP will sort your life, we’re sure.
Don’t ever look back. Plan your stay. Don’t tell; just come here.
Work hard with bona fide team. (Pain plus gain – hold onto that!)
Then... back home, show your fine body.
Make love; give your wife this hero, this star – this idol!
Ring SELF HELP BOOT CAMP soon. Don’t wait. We’re here.
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