Sam, that's a winner. The slow one/no one lines are great.
MAKER MEETS MAKER
God, who rocketed to power nearly six thousand years ago with the iconoclastic assistance of Abraham the forefather in a giddy whirl of events made famous by the Old Testament, died last night at his mansion in Hollywood, California, of unknown final causes. A recluse to the end, he died alone surrounded by stacks of unanswered prayers.
Early in his career, 'the Almighty', as he was sometimes called, developed a reputation for unpredictable behavior. "You never knew at any given moment whether he would smite or raise up," sources close to God report. "When he was focused, there was nothing he couldn't do," said others, "but he became so easily distracted."
Blessed with a keen sense of irony, God often arranged for the good to die young and the bad to prosper and exploit the masses.
Vladimir Putin and Barack Obama have both said they will attend the funeral.
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