Now that we're into nit-picking this little gem, John, can you possibly get rid of one or two of the 'his's, I wonder?
He fumbled in his coat and took
From some recess a little book.
He put his glasses on his nose.
‘It's Mr Whitworth, I suppose.’
A frosty smiled played on his lips
Just a suggestion:
He wore an overcoat and took
From some recess a little book.
Bifocals rested on his nose.
‘It's Mr Whitworth, I suppose.’
A frosty smiled played on his lips
... or whatever...
