This is not one that is likely to stop John getting his thoroughly deserved umpteenth teacakes ! But it filled in a blank fifteen minutes between lunch and dog-walking.
I missed my connection at Bradford
And boarded the wrong train at Crewe,
Which is why I’m now standing in Scunthorpe
Instead of in Paris with you.
It is clear that la vie here in Scunthorpe
Is a long way from being en rose
And our first anniversary dinner
At the George Cinq’s now cold, I suppose.
But a girl on the platform beside me
Who has multiple piercings and wisps
Of dyed orange hair and bad acne
Has offered me one of her crisps.
Though whatever dessert she may offer
It is likely I’ll find that it’s true
That le plaisir d’amour here in Scunthorpe
Will not be the same without you.
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