[FOsen]

Henry Jekyll, acquitted on manslaughter charges last fall at a trial in which his legal team employed the novel and now notorious “potion metamorphosis” defense, has gone missing from a prestigious rehab facility in Southgate, just days before he was to have launched the book tour for his soon-to-be-released autobiography, Nothing to Hyde. Jekyll checked himself into the celebrity clinic last month, citing unspecified “anger-management” issues and, in an interview with our reporter Hastie Lanyon, promised to reveal exclusive details of a rumored dissociative identity disorder. Unfortunately, Lanyon suffered a stroke at that meeting, perhaps precipitating Jekyll’s disappearance. While confined, Jekyll had continued philanthropic work through his company, Jekyll Laboratories. Telephone enquiries as to Jekyll’s whereabouts elicited this response from an unnamed spokesperson: “He’s probably helping little African kids in the Amazon – that’s it – he’s pissed off there – now you go do the same, mate.”