Frank, intriguing interpretation of the title and intriguing topic.
Shell-shorn? Shell-torn?
Galaxy? The shot is shining or twinkling? 'Rows and rows' or something?
I took 'cannon-shot' at first as a measurement of range. Would 'big round shot' be a possibility?
You have 'ball' in the penultimate stanza. Is this to prepare for the punch-word in the last line? If not, maybe something like 'placed some iron on the road' or 'placed that iron on the road'.
Maybe 'science proves' as you have' showed' in the first line of S2?
'calls' seems a bit rhyme-driven and not quite sure what it means here.
Any possibility of a link to the actual photo?
Last edited by Jerome Betts; 12-02-2011 at 01:55 PM.
Reason: Typo
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