I had a losing Speccie entry in 2010 that riffed on the Larkin, but it doesn't quite fit the assignment. I might sub it anyway:
"To Be, Or Not To Be"
They fuck your mum, they kill your dad,
If what the ghost declared is true.
To be, or not to be? Both bad,
So what's a boy like me to do?
To think about my uncle's deed
Sure makes my Danish blue blood boil!
If it were up to me, he'd bleed,
He'd shuffle off his mortal coil.
Yet maybe I should just give in
And stick my crown up on the shelf?
The deck is stacked. I cannot win.
I wonder, should I kill myself?
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