“S-so there wasn’t ever any magic?” asked Harold, his lip trembling, “but what about Hibernia’s Passive Coping spells?” “Those were there for the readers, Harold,” Actuaria replied calmly. “As I’ve explained many times, your journey was nothing more than a rather clumsy allegorical overlay to the rigorous analysis of statistical probability theory presented within these pages” (ibid., Chapter one, footnotes 22 - 304a).
“B-b-but what about the Dark Lord?” “Well, Harold, he’d simply calculated funding rates for the retirement portfolio based upon an overly aggressive profitability assessment of the investment trajectory (see Appendix G) - as you were able to deduce, once you'd finally mastered the Exhaustive Algorhythms.”
“And now,” said Actuaria, “I’m afraid it’s time for you to return home to your Aunt’s and Uncle’s, to that little room under the stairs, until next school year.” “Oh, thank you!” cried Harold, bolting for the door.
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-- Frank
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