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Unread 03-28-2012, 06:33 PM
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Wintaka Wintaka is offline
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Tony:

After stipulating that analyzing lines in isolation is a mug's game I'd say that one or two of these examples would be dealbreakers for me if I were an editor or a contest judge.

(x) the / bland sky / that bel/lies down/ at dusk

IME, dropping syllables usually involves leaving stressed/promoted ones behind. This is more true of lame feet than acephalous ones, though. For example, I wouldn't bat an eye at this one:

The mu/-shu pork? / (x) Chick / en on / the stove?

IMHO, this next one occurs too late in the line:

The li /quid night/ seeps in. / (x) The / glass dreams.

...which, coupled with the missing stressed syllable in that foot, would be too much for me.

Dropping two syllables isn't a problem in trinary rhythms. We see a lot of that in Byron's anapestic tetrameter "Bride of Abydos":

[x] [x] Know | ye the land | of the ced|ar and vine,

Dropping an entire foot of a binary might get a reader thinking of het-met and me thinking of the next poem in the pile:

(x) (x) / bland sky/ that bel/lies down /at dusk

On the plus side, the two separate drops work well in a list:

(x) mu/-shu pork? / (x) Chick / en on / the stove?

...as it did for Shakespeare here:

The best | of men | have sung | your at | tributes,
Breasts, | lips, | eyes, | and gold | en hair!

...noting that neither example involves a 4th or 5th foot.

I could be wrong but I get the sense that you may be applying a principle of accentual meter (i.e. a fixed number of stresses per stich) to accentual-syllabic meter (i.e. a fixed number of feet per stich).

Regards,

Colin
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