Oh I like this so much but I think the metrics could be improved here:
My father says the Russians have leapt ahead.
By building missiles instead of baking bread,
I like David's idea of using Russkies.
This next is a superb line
the godless souls have marred the face of heaven.
coupled with
a vision of the new star, far and high,
I'd like to see Sputnik in italics rather than quotes.
I find this line so appealing
that moves. That moves. It's 1957.
because I want to pause there and take in the wonder of what is happening. This keeps the poem from the danger of monotony.
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