Mrs Harris thinks Miss Paris is no better than she should be,
To Miss Paris, Mrs Harris seems a snob.
But they both think Mr Whiteside shouldn’t drink so much – well, should he
When, so far as they can tell, he has no job?
Mr Whiteside, on the bright side, likes to flirt with young Miss Paris
While that Harris woman tuts behind her nets.
But Miss Paris thinks him harmless and so blithely on she carries;
Mrs Harris says ‘I’d take him down the vets.’
Mr Whiteside has a right side and Miss Paris cultivates it,
Mrs Harris, being a joke, cements the pair,
They hold hands out in broad daylight (knowing she will see and hate it)
While in private neither one would ever dare.
In a few months Mrs Harris and old Whiteside are both married
To each other, yes; Miss Paris quits the scene.
And though neighbours claim their ménage is emotionally arid,
It goes to show how little curtain-twitchers glean.
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