Pride
I count myself as one of those
With pedigree and toffee nose
Who scorn the horrid hordes of great
Unwashed who now infest the State,
Rank scourings of an underclass,
All greasy hair and lardy arse,
Whose foul-mouthed kids have filthy names,
Shaz, Maz, Jaz, Spaz, Kaz, Kayleigh, Kaimes,
Stacy, Tracy, Taylor, Tyler,
Accents vile and habits viler,
Strangled vowels, glottal stops.
Morals conned from knocking shops.
Ah – what a chasm yawns between
These oafish, larrikin, obscene,
Slow-oozing, boozing bags of pus,
And (God be praised) the likes of us!
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