I think the real problem with this comp. is that the dullards we wish to lampoon are incapable of the neat phrases we'd love them to commit to their own disadvantage. Witness these two of mine....
BROAD THOUGHTS FROM AT HOME
I’d not much travelled, though I’d oft been told
Of many goodly states and kingdoms high;
Round western allies I was sent to fly
Which ‘aid’ in fealty to old NATO hold.
Oft of one wide expanse of liquid gold,
That ‘big-tached’ Saddam ruled as his own spread,
I’d heard - yet never did I hear it said
We’d rule it, till Perle spoke out loud and bold:
Then felt I like some watcher of stocks’ highs
When first an Enron climbs into his ken,
Or like Macarthur when, with power crazed eyes,
He ’cross the Yallu stared - and all his men
Looked at each other with a wild surmise -
Yet knew their President was still sane - then.
(With apologies to John Keats)
‘FUTUROUS PROSPECTIVES’
When I have fears my rule may cease to be
Before my jumbled mouth has joined my brain,
Before stockpiles of arms and weaponry,
Reveal the scope of all I’d like to reign;
When I behold, upon Don Rumsfeld’s face
’Neath clouded brows, that hunted glance,
And think that we may not escape disgrace
For buying, with men’s blood, commercial chance;
And when I feel, Blair, ally of dark hours,
That I shall not have you to sucker more,
Nor have such smokescreen for our greedy powers
Of spectrum dominance; then on the shore
Of the wide world I stand alone and know
That power and guile, to judgement one day go.
(With apologies to John Keats)
Fun, I think,... but Dubya would never have penned them - not even after post-pretzel first aid.
Nigel
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