The Jock's Version
(Seen on the gym walls)
Stick it to 'em buddy! You are the stud!
Rock 'em and knock 'em and sock'em in the mud.
Your body's stroked and bored like steel.
Ennis the Menace? Listen to her squeal
as you go strutting round the track.
The power, the sheer power in your back
could lift the Euro to a decent height.
Oil up your limbs, so the silver light
will love on your thighs, your whole torso.
Think Brad Pitt-ish, only moreso.
They just don't make 'em like you anymore.
You're an Atlas, shouldering every shore
from Khartoum to Nice to New York to Bali.
You're a god and every poor sod says "Golly!"
when you spare a word or let him kiss your ring.
You're le roi, der Konig, the ever-fabled king.
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