Here are a few more that my friend Andrew sent me. Some of them need no comment.
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
So there is a life after death?
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Ah, experts - where would we be without them?
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
What a bunch of lazy so-and-so's!
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Let’s hope that works better than a fair trial
War Dims Hope for Peace
Yes, I can see that it could have that effect
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
It's good to know that they have such a grip on the case
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't the first group fat enough?!
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
I’m told they taste like chicken
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
That’ll teach them to skip classes
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
They felt they were being belittled
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
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