Brian said:
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But one of them couldn't manage a proper rhyme scheme, so we get 'Autun/rein', 'came/ale' and - unbelievably - 'prophecies/dreamt'. Must be one of those modern poets.
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I totally agree with Brian. But what killed it for me was:
I carried her to Bethlehem, you see,
I've judged numerous poetry competitions in my time, and
every time I come across "you see" as a line-ending I reject it immediately. It's in the realm of the complete novice to use that as a rhyme for
anything at all. (MUCH too easy and predictable; in other words, it's a "cop-out".)
So, in metrical poems, "you see" is to be avoided like the plague - (along with clichés like "avoided like the plague")
Jayne
PS. My observation about "you see", above - (for me, at any rate) - points to the fact that many judges of poetry aren't
writers of poetry themselves, or they would eschew such bad rhymes.