[Douglas G. Brown]

Dear Chauncey,

Sure was nice to hear from my old grade school buddy! After her plastic surgery’s completed, your fifth wife should be one handsome woman. My beloved Linh sends her wishes. Who’d have guessed a Saigon bar-girl would stay so beautiful and faithful for over forty years?

I’m awful sorry about your son’s imprisonment. Twenty years seems excessive for fifty kilos of cocaine. Our youngest daughter was just crowned “Miss Asian-America”. After her world tour, she’s marrying a Texas boy. His kinfolk own a little spread called the King Ranch.

Your disbarment’s a bum rap. Plus, I can’t believe Social Security denied your disability claim. (Those beatings by the Boston cops at the protest rallies during your Harvard days really ruined your back.) Incidentally, we’ve just sold our chain of egg roll stands to some Beijing billionaire … I’m shocked by how many zeroes were on his check!

Best,
Billy-Bob Bodine