Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian Allgar
An excellent piece, Douglas.
May I sugest that the metre in the last two lines is a litte shaky? Perhaps it could be straightened out as something like:
Then you’re a better Man than me - and, Brother,
Thank God that I have fobbed her off on you.
xxxor
I thank God that I've fobbed her off on you.
(... or not)
|
Brian,
Thanks for your tip. It smooths the ending out a great deal. Plus, I switched the 2 middle verses, to get a better "build".
There is a fairly obscure American country song that begins "Put another log upon the fire" , which I recalled when I was writing this.