Well, in spite of what I said above I've had a go at it...
It started with my onions, and I cried,
but then they stole my carrots, spuds and sprouts.
I slept in my allotment shed and tried
in vain to apprehend the thieving louts.
They pounced at times I nodded off to sleep
but didn’t come on nights I stayed awake!
My vigil failed; I simply couldn’t keep
it up, so every month they’d come and take
my vegetables – torn rudely while they grew.
But then I had a brainwave: I’d grow posh
legumes instead – asparagus, mange-tout,
celeriac, zucchini, acorn squash.
And now I get to keep my gorgeous crop.
It’s been a year since anybody took it.
The robbing came abruptly to a stop.
Exotic veg? They don’t know how to cook it!
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