[Brian Allgar]

(Mmm ... perhaps old Henry VIII is due for another outing.)

‘Tis time, methinks, to speak of manly things
And of those pleasures copulation brings.
I therefore bid thee, harken to my words:
I shall not weary thee with bees and birds
But rather teach thee how thou may’st contrive
To have thy way with maids - in short, to swive.
The day thou feel’st thy manhood doth awaken,
Go to’t; a maidenhead is swiftly taken,
And many yearn to taste thy rampant yard.
So imitate the minstrel or the bard
By counting all th’innumerable ways
Whereby thine art shall lead to pleasing lays.
But to begin with, take a lady who
Shall seem demure, yet knows a thing or two.
In short, seek thou a wench who’s skilled in bed,
Especially one who’s good at "giving head".