Graham - good one about Mercury (the least explored inner planet)! Although it's slightly reminiscent of my Mars Rover (post #29), I think in some ways it's more poetic. I like the fact that it's in first person — the "vanguard sentinel" (a robot?) is personified with "I send my song away ..." and "heat stains my skin and bakes my heart." Love it!
If the automaton stands on the day side, it would be cooked of course, but if on the dark side, where it is freezing, it would be safe from the sun's heat.
Do you need that comma after "seek" (L12)? Also, L11 is tetrameter, but perhaps that was intentional.
Perhaps we'll eventually explore all the planets of the solar system in this bouts-rime challenge.
Last edited by Martin Elster; 03-20-2013 at 05:30 AM.
Reason: removed erroneous comment about Mercury
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