I'm not sure what to say. Do you want crits that confirm the paucity of the form, and therefore your poetry's failure?
Michael: 'To prove a point'
Possibly the wrong reason to post on a workshop, thus wasting everyone's time with an attack on other's poetry and chosen form. Besides, the fact that you are capable of writing bad cinquains does not prove that the form is inherently flawed, only that in this instance your logic is.
I notice that the form has been used (in my opinion) very successfully on another thread.
The second one of yours is particularly awful, but then you knew that. Sigh.
Alex
[This message has been edited by Alexander Grace (edited April 17, 2005).]
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