Lo-
That is really nice. Looks to me like you've really figured out what makes the cinquain work.
And... You came very close in your post to advocating recommending syllabics to long winded versifiers.
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The cinquain appears very good for autobiographical moments. Perhaps it works best when it's treated as a snapshot between two verbs, as Lo's poem above is done.
Did Crapsey invent this to try to improve on imagist poetry? As I've understood it the cinquain was invented in the 19-teens, around the time of H.D. and early Pound. A form that places imagist poetry between two verbs could be seen as an improvement on imagist poetry.
It's also nice to reflect on what Pound's poetry might have been like if he had spent his entire life on short poems like cinquains
[This message has been edited by albert geiser (edited April 17, 2005).]
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