Police investigated an incident last night on the A22, where they found a distressed Mr Albert Lott standing in the road next to the life-sized statue of a woman.
According to Mr Lott, he and his wife had been told to leave the city, notorious as a hotbed of sin and depravity, and warned never to look back. “But she wouldn’t listen, would she? Had to have one last glance at Eastbourne, and this is the result.”
Forensic scientists confirmed that the figure was composed of sodium chloride. When asked what he would do with his wife’s remains, Mr Lott broke down, and said: ”Don’t have much choice, do I? She’ll have to be ground up and kept in a cruet.”
A spokesman for the NHS said: “Let’s hope this tragic event will help to drive home the message that too much salt is bad for the human body.”
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