[Martin Elster]

Graham,

I like your Neanderthal poem quite a lot. Not just because of the interesting theme, but also the tetrameter, which is not easy to pull off. But you did!

I wonder if it would sound better with the definite article ("the") before "New-Ones."

"Will the New-Ones help or kill us?" That would mess up the rhythm a tiny bit, however.

Thanks for mentioning which couplets you like best in my "Looking Higher." That's quite helpful. I think I prefer

or think how, as she wheels, existence runs
hawk-silent, without rust and without death.

because it's more visual. You can picture her wheeling high in the sky.

Whereas the other one is a bit more abstract. But then again, I'm not entirely sure which is really more interesting.

Martin