[Brian Allgar]

Our holiday in England started in the countryside.
My son had never seen a cow - he’d eaten them, of course
(At least, he thought he had) - so when, excitedly, he cried
“Look, Dad, a cow!”, I had to tell him: “No, son, that’s a horse.”

Then London, for a talent show. We found the acts revolting;
They couldn’t dance, they couldn’t sing, they mangled every vowel.
The host appeared, a podgy figure, sneering and insulting.
“Look, Dad, a cow!” - I told him: “No, son, that is Simon Cowell.”

We visited Madame Tussaud’s, a curious collection.
He knew “Mad Cow Disease” was caused by Tories acting shady,
So, coming to a waxwork, he established the connection:
“Look, Dad, a cow!” - I told him: “No, son, that’s the Iron Lady.”