Cheers all for your responses.
I doubt I've improved on Keats' original! This poem was familiar to me and seemed to lend itself quite readily to the idea, or may even have suggested it to me, being full of short words already.
In this case I was pleasantly surprised to find I could also manage to have 'my' version still scan and rhyme like the original.
I meant to open up the idea for any other poems, and not necessarily keeping the original metre, rhymes or form in the monosyllabic version. Roger's suggestion to
not exempt proper nouns is a challenge...
Some though are a gift:
I don't love thee, Doc Fell
Yet just why I can't tell
But I know it full well -
I don't love thee, Doc Fell.
