[Rob Stuart]

I’ve felt a bit rotten of late and have gotten
A notion the end could be near.
It isn't the first time I’ve braced for the worst, I’m
Accustomed to living in fear.

But doctor, my body’s not looking so shoddy;
There's no angry rash on my skin.
No orifice oozing or serious bruising
Or parts where infection's got in.

No bits have gone yellow. A healthier fellow
Than me would be tricky to find;
I’m fit as a fiddle. The key to this riddle?
My sickness is all in the mind.

Though I am unstable and almost unable
To lift myself onto my feet,
It’s psychosomatic, so please be pragmatic
And bring a placebo, tout suite!