[Brian Allgar]

Oh God! I’ve started peeing red!
I’m quivering with fear and dread.
In next to no time, I’ll be dead
xxxFrom cancer of the bladder.
Or even worse, the thing will spread
Like bindweed in my flower-bed
To kidneys, liver, lungs and head,
xxxA fate that’s even sadder.

I’m in a clinic by the Thames.
Is it a verdict that condemns,
Or is there hope with beastly chems?
xxxIf there’s a chance, I’ll try it.
But then, with sniggers and “ahem”s,
They come to tell me: “Well, it stems
From cherry-coloured M & M’s
xxxAnd beetroot in your diet.”