[Douglas G. Brown]

Song of a Slacker

(sung to the tune of “What a Friend We Have in Jesus” )

What a friend is my physician
When I want to loaf and shirk.
How can one in his position
Force me to return to work?

After I am done disrobing,
Standing in his office, bare;
Then my doc commences probing
Blisters on my derriere.

I break out in hives and rashes
At the mention of my job.
I get night sweats and hot flashes;
Am I just a lazy slob?

What a joy are my diseases;
Aches and pains, I love to bear.
Are my sniffles, coughs, and wheezes
Just malade imaginaire?