Perhaps an appropriate occasion to re-introduce my experience in the movement.
Encounters in a Poetry Workshop
The Toady
Will only critique poems by ‘Staff’
“Lick a stamp and this is great”
Unaware he’s made a gaff
The ‘poem’ is a note from staff to state
“Guidelines that you must pay heed to”.
(Toadies think they never need to.)
The Entertainer
Likes attention to his post
Truth is never of the essence.
It made me laugh is what he most
likes to hear of his excrescence
When criticised his voice is terse
“Its really hard to write light verse”
The Formalist
The rhyme is poor , you’re missing a stress
it’s only prose— says the formalist
No work of merit will he bless
or credit if an iambs missed
He’ll sell his soul to the devil in Hell
to write a decent villanelle.
The Free Spirit
Has half a thought and lets
It run and run and run
And run and run
Proving to his satisfaction that the universe consists
of line
breaks.
The Space Cadet
A sensitive soul obsessed with space
laid out on the page while quietly lamenting
he’s not a poet but dreams of the place
he could achieve with better indenting,
Sensitive insights are his forte,
that and being a dab-hand at cliché
The Wise-ass
Is conscientious in carefully noting
all your grammar and typo mistakes.
He fixes your spelling, corrects your misquoting
and give his opinion on making line breaks.
He’s read your lines and smugly advised
they are anticipated and anthologised
The Show-off
Your poem invariably starts too early
He’s a liberal sprinkler of imo’s
Tell him you think you’ve been critted unfairly
and he’s liable to lecture on lineated prose.
Then just as you think that his discourse is run
he quotes his own poem to show how its done.
The Incredible Sulk
He’s really a nice chap, modest and meek
but looses his cool when he’s cut to the quick
by a less than fulsomely-praising critique.
from morons, stupid ill-read and thick.
When he isn’t resigning he gets himself banned
and always returns with his cap in his hand.
Jim Hayes
|