Hey Nash
Much to like here
(but nothing to love
).
I like this line "scribbled out lists" (but the rest is puke).
I am confused by some of your line breaks (English is a second language for you isn't it?) but that doesn't concern me as much as the worn out cliches (actually I'm worn out - long night at the pub/bar/work/home/life but I won't say that).
Yet, I'm sure if you work on this some more (say eternity) I'm sure this rough draft (which you probably did first on toilet paper) will yield a fine poem (not in this eon though).
Sorry for being so negative.
(don't hurt me please).
P.S. Just to be painfully clear, I am not critiquing Nash's poem on the thread. I'm just continuing the joke topic of the thead really.
[This message has been edited by Yolanda Cruz (edited July 10, 2005).]