[Brian Allgar]

So that’s it, then. The remains of Thatcher are in that box, although not the remains of Thatcherism, ha ha! Alive and well and living in me and my cabinet, not to mention Tony Blair and his cronies. Great woman, of course. Still, I can’t help feeling relieved that there’s no chance of the Iron Lady making a comeback.

I suppose she really is in there? What’s that film with Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn? Scene at a funeral ... Oh yes, “Charade”. Someone goes up to the open coffin and stabs the corpse with a big pin in order to be certain he’s really dead.

Wonder if I could get them to open the coffin? I could borrow my wife’s hat-pin, but what reason could I give? Got it - I’ll tell them I just want to make absolutely sure they’re not undertaking (le mot juste, I think) a premature burial ...