[Brian Allgar]

Look at these legs - I tell you, they’re my last ones.
I’m on them still, but won’t be for much longer.
When I was young and healthy, they were fast ones;
I’d Jive or Jitterbug, I’d do the Conga,

The Boogie-Woogie and the Bossa Nova
The Waltz, Watusi, and the West Coast Swing.
Oh, dancing was my life; I was in clover,
And I excelled at nearly everything.

I’d Tango, Twist, I’d Rock and Roll, I’d Rumba,
Cavorting on my tireless feet as light as
A balloon, and even in my slumber
I’d twitch like someone dancing with St Vitus.

But now the music’s slow and ballady;
I hobble round the dance-floor with my wife.
The doctor says I’ve got this malady,
A sickness, quite incurable, called “Life”.