[Rob Stuart]

Durians

A lot of epicureans
Are very keen on durians,
A Southeast Asian fruit whose taste
Is redolent of almond paste,
Of custard and of sherry wine.
Their smell is rather less benign,
And makes some think of manky towels,
Of rotting veg, or emptied bowels.
Though gourmets reckon they’re a treat,
I couldn’t bring myself to eat
A food whose soi-disant perfume
Reminds one of the smallest room.