[Nigel Mace]

THE OBJECT OF MY AMOROUS INTENTION IS SOMEWHAT AKIN TO A CARMINED FLORIBUNDA

The object of my amorous intention is somewhat akin to a carmined floribunda
That despite inclement weather has blossomed before the summer solstice:
This, the focus of my amatory passion, is a symphony of sound at which to wonder
For her complex lyric lines have blended into one melodic poultice.

As undoubtedly toothsome as you very clearly are, my delightful little piece of crackling,
So stands the not inconsiderable footing of my heart’s emplacement:
And the puissance of my passionate persuasions will remain staunch and erect, despite all tackling,
Till climate change ensures all the oceans’ evaporative displacement.

Until such alarmist predictions discover some real confirmatory support, my pussie,
And diverse strata are solar super-heated to an aqueous state:
And even in those circumstances you will retain my most devoted affection, my floosie,
For as long as significantly improved life expectancy will rate.

And now I must pronounce, “Farewell, a long farewell!”, to you the sole object of my idolatry
Repeating it, lest you could never quite recapture this last parting’s rapture!
And you may rest certain that I will engage to return to you again, my dearest chickadee
Though it were to prove a journey of eight point eight million times my stature.