[Rob Stuart]

A problem shared is a disgrace doubled.

A nod’s as good as a wink to a freemason with Asperger’s.

Ask a silly question and snake bath melon fringe.

You can lead a horse to slaughter, but you can’t sell it as beef.

God help those who help themselves.

The Amish abhor a vacuum cleaner.

Never judge a book by its sales figures.

If ifs and ands were pots and pans, this sentence would be nonsense.

Red sky at night, shepherd’s delight; red sky in the morning, shepherd’s warning; minced lamb topped with mashed potatoes, shepherd’s pie.

There’s nowt so queer as homosexuals.