[Chris O'Carroll]

No 4282
Set by Leonora Casement
We asked you to send in some new proverbs for the present day. To inspire you, we gave you these examples: “Still waters are almost always polluted,” and “It’s a long lane that isn’t closed off by traffic cones.”

This week’s winners
Well done. We look forward to competitions such as this – the more surreal the entry, the more we like it. Hon menshes to all those who sent in proverbs beginning with the words: “Too many cooks . . .” and “A rolling stone gathers . . .” Many, indeed, were almost identical and you can’t all share the same book token. Speaking of which, the winners receive a £5 book token for each entry printed. The Tesco vouchers go, in addition, to P Holland.
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There is no smoke without a government health warning.
J Seery
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Look before you press “Reply all”.
Nicholas Hodgson
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It is always greener before the developers arrive.
Alanna Blake
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If you don’t at first succeed, blame the last lot.

Honesty is the best policy – but tax shelters work well, too.
Michael Leapman
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One man’s tweet is another man’s frisson.
G M Davis
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Time waits for no man – unless he’s travelling faster than the speed of light.
Brian Allgar
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He who is slow to anger never makes the front page.
Brian D Allingham
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He who laughs last, LOL.
John Griffiths-Colby
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Beware of Greeks bearing economic recovery plans.
K M Smith
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Look before you invade.
David Silverman
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If it ain’t broke, it ain’t the eurozone.
Francis Harry
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If you can’t stand the heat, you’ll like it here.

The grass is always greener after four solid months of rain.
Mary McLean
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It’s better to have loved and lost than not to have taken the penalty points.

A problem shared means your phone’s been hacked.

Penny wise, euro foolish.
P Holland
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A bird in the hand isn’t worth two years inside.
George Inman
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A badger cull is never a black-and-white issue.
John Boaler
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In the country of the blind, there’s no market for internet porn.

Good fences make good graffiti venues.
Chris O’Carroll
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Look before you lap-dance.
Bill Greenwell
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Better the coalition you know than the coalition you don’t.
Carolyn Thomas-Coxhead
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The way to a man’s heart is through keyhole surgery.

A fool and his money are soon parted by a Ponzi scheme.
Eric Hunter