I like the idea of pellmell motion for this subject, but I must be a terrible literalist because I was stopped by "To shift." For a second I thought it was an odd verbal form of "shift" as in dress because it is so close to the zippered dress. Then I thought she was driving for another instant--"to shift" gears and then brake. It took my third thought to get to the right meaning. Admittedly all that tripping over meaning happened in a flash, but I don't think it was helpful, rather like tripping over the starting block in a race.
However, I may well be quite, quite mad. Do like the whole idea for the a short poem, that sort of 100-yard dash structure.
Last edited by marly youmans; 07-15-2013 at 09:32 AM.
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