Maryann Delaney, et. al. -- I mentioned in a post for #2, could you please include just a brief description of what sonnet elements specifically failed for you? "Traditionalism" doesn't really mean much to me. Do you not accept anapestic substitution? It sounds like people are faulting the meter. But I'm not sure I'm scanning it the same way if that's the case.
L1 has a single anapestic substitution in the 2nd foot. L2 has 3. L3 has 0, it's pure IP. L4 has a trochaic sub in the first foot and anapestic sub in the last. Of the 4 opening lines, I would only consider calling L2 "sprung". I won't continue but suffice to say I wouldn't totally disqualify it on meter.
p.s. I think of myself as traditionalist too -- I guess there's always someone more formally attired
