Looks very promising. For a New Statesman Comp that is.
What about this. An old one of mine given a tweak. It could be any manifesto o course but this IS the Staggers.
The Larkin Conservative Manifesto
Elect us! We are Unsuccess.
Elect us! We will give you less.
The misery of Adam's curse
Will be immeasurably worse.
You would be foolish to suppose
That any measure we propose
To ameliorate your children's lot
Will come to pass, for it will not.
Our country's future is confusion.
All hopes of growth are an illusion.
Take courage! Drain the bitter cup.
We promise taxes will go up.
Elect us! We will bring you grief,
The withered rose, the shrivelled leaf.
The Torch of Freedom burned to ash,
And Britain sold for foreign cash.
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