[Rob Stuart]

'The Strand' magazine

Dear Fanny,

I am a successful private investigator living alone in Marylebone. Although I have always professed a disinterest in women that borders on contempt, the real reason why I have never married is of a somewhat darker nature. I have for a period of some years felt a strong romantic attraction to my best friend, a medical man of excellent character. By dint of extrapolating from current socio-political trends I have deduced that homosexuality is overwhelmingly likely to be legalised in eighty years’ time, but neither of us will live long enough to see this day dawn and I have no reason to suspect that my affections are returned in any case. What am I to do?

Yours, Mr H.

Fanny says: These unnatural urges might just be down to stress. Have you considered smoking a pipe? Or, failing that, injecting cocaine?