Useful Tips for Travellers from the UKIP Handbook
Don’t speak the filthy lingo of the Frogs.
That was the stuff first sent them to the dogs.
Huns are home-loving, cabbage-eating folks.
Keep to the law and don’t tell English jokes.
Windmills and wooden shoes define your Dutch.
The place is flat and nothing’s up to much.
All Belgians were designed by a committee.
Brussels must be the world’s most boring city.
Greeks go for ships, medallions and boys’ bums.
Eyeties prefer the Mafia and their Mums.
Latinos? Bull-abusing, love-rat hunks.
Vikings? Big-bearded, suicidal drunks.
Brits at the heart of Europe, then? No thanks.
Try the US – if you can stand the Yanks.
But, what with funny money and the weather,
Safest to cut out Foreign altogether.
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