Thanks to those of you who've pointed out linguistic discrepancies. I'm sure our secret translator will be grateful too. Lots of good fine-honing feedback here. For me, reading the translation as an English poem, there are sections with full rhymes and sections barely slanted, and I'm having loads of trouble with meter, which seems quite wobbly in places. It seems S2 is the most accomplished in meter and rhyme, and some of those lines are quite lovely. But yes, there are also no small number of discrepancies - fillers or close cigars of all kinds - that differ from both cribs enough to see there's quite a bit of work yet to go.
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