Dorothy Parker
Dear Santa, though I’m partly Jew,
Three small requests I ask of you;
Could you somehow obtain for me
A gentleman like Robert B.,
A suave and witty sort of man
Who’ll love the way my verses scan?
Send editors who’ll praise my name
And not complain that I’m a dame,
And have the fortitude to say
I write as well as Hemingway.
Convince those drones in Hollywood
My screenplays are supremely good
And they should offer maybe twice
My current modest asking price.
(Plus, one more thing, ‘fore you begin;
A never-ending stream of gin.)
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