Zepheniah, perhaps - all the presents (except the turkey) are in a Christmas gift catalogue that's just plopped through my door...
If yu wanna be kind dis Christmas
Dis is the stuff I like,
A bubble-wrap suit an dem jelly beans
An a Jedi dat glows in de dark.
Den dere’sTerry de swearing turtle
An de soap dat’s a gnome on a rope, hey!
An one of dem singing egg timers
Dat mek music an play reggae.
An a Borat mankini, an whistling keys
An mebe a onesie an a spud-firing gun,
An I wanna have one of dem turkeys,
Cos a turkey is cool an likes fun,
It could hip-hop along wid de turtle, yu see,
An mek friends wid de gnome on a rope,
For dis is de moment fe yu an fe me
To mek dis a christmas WID LUV.
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